Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
