Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
