i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
