Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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