Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
