I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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