i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
