it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
