I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
