Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
