There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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