I looked at my own cervix.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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