i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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