I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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