I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
