So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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