Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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