the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
