So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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