I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
