I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just invented taco cereal.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
