I smell stomach acid.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
