i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
