I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
