Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
