He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
