halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
