im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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