Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize