I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
