Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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