She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
