That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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