Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
