Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we're chasing vodka with high fives
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize