there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
