D3 body, D1 cock
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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