she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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