no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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