dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
