the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
