Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
