Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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