One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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