I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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