i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
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Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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