FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
