If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
from now on my penis is your penis
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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