i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.