Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
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do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER