Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
