You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
