Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wear drunk well.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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