Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Welp...herpes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
