just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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