ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
