i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
