it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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