Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
