He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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