I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
