i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
