just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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