No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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