I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
