So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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