Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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