all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
