At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
