After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
